Savannah Watson

I started writing this post about Imposter Syndrome in February 2022 – right smack between publishing my first novel and my second…. that should already tell you a lot. And while it makes me feel vulnerable trying to explain it, it is an important part of my experience as an author, so here we go.

For anyone who doesn’t know what imposter syndrome is – or doesn’t have it themselves (*cough cough*awkward laugh*cough), Imposter Syndrome is explained as the feeling of being inadequate or undeserving of success, regardless of skill, talent, effort, or observable markers of success.

Fun fact for any of the psychology nerds like me: impostor syndrome is not considered a mental disorder; however, it is thought to be linked to other mental illnesses like anxiety and depression. Interestingly, in the past, it was more often attributed to highly successful women, but research has found that anyone can faced with the feeling.

For some people, they feel like a fraud, like they have somehow deceived other people or misrepresented themselves and their abilities. They fear being “found out”. For me, it feels like I haven’t earned the “right” to be given credit for my accomplishments.

A perfect example of how it manifests for me is when I published my first book. My friends and family asked me to sign books. I was flattered beyond words to be asked, but the moment I actually had to do it, I started stalling – talking, awkward laughing, uncapping and capping my pen over and over and over… any excuse not to do it. Not because I didn’t want to or that I didn’t have ample thanks to give to these people who had been so supportive of me and my writing. I had a hard time with it because, in my mind, I hadn’t earned the right to sign a book. Only bestselling authors with millions of copies worldwide had that right. And I wasn’t that. Therefore, signing a book – my book – wasn’t something I should be doing.

And I went through the exact same thing with my second book. And signing my own books isn’t the only place I see this impostor syndrome showing itself. You’d think after two books under my belt, I’d feel like I’ve earned a little credit. But unfortunately, I don’t – and I intentionally used the present tense “don’t” here. With two volumes published, Volumes Three and Four in progress, and another secret project underway (being a tease, I know 🤫), I still don’t feel that I’ve earned the right to be praised or acknowledged much for my work. Even trying to explain this makes me feel weird.

Fear not, I did actually sign the books eventually; it just took some time and self-reassurances. One of the main points that I have seen reiterated while reading about impostor syndrome is that a key way to combat it is to change your thinking. And while my thinking hasn’t improved much, I try to engage in and accept any praise as mine, whether I feel like I’ve “earned” it or not. And I try to remember these things whenever I feel the impostor syndrome creeping in: (1) I’m not the only one who feels this way (us creative types really seem to struggle with this), and (2) even though I’m not a bestselling author (yet? 😅), it’s important to give myself credit for the work I’ve put in – because I have put in a lifetime of work to get here.

Please remember to give yourself credit where credit is due, my dear readers!

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