Savannah Watson

While writing my previous post about disconnecting from technology, one of the other topics that came to mind was ‘disappearing’. For me, they go hand-in-hand.

Let me explain.

I have a tendency to disappear. What I mean by this is that sometimes I just go dark – I disappear off of social media (which I don’t really use anyway), and I stop opening messages from almost everyone (there is a short list of people that I must reply to unless I want detectives sent to find me). I just go to work, exist quietly, and keep to myself. If I didn’t have to leave the house for work, one might think I vanished into the void along with all of the missing socks in the world.

I disappear like this when I’m under extreme emotional stress, which is rare, thankfully. But even under normal circumstances when I’m not stressed or unhappy, I still go dark from time to time. I don’t know exactly why I do it – I’m sure it’s considered mildly unhealthy behavior – but I have found that it usually does me some good to not only occasionally disconnect from my technology but also occasionally disconnect from other people.

I have noticed that when I disconnect from other people, I usually come back feeling better like this hiatus allowed me to recharge my social battery. I am naturally an introvert, which is amusing because I can talk someone’s ear off if I’m comfortable and the mood strikes me (thank you, Mom, for the years of pretending to listen to me while I went on and on about topics you probably didn’t care about). I have gotten more extroverted as I’ve gotten older, but I still like to be alone; and if I’m with friends, I prefer one-on-one or small group settings with very specific people. And maybe it is my introverted tendencies that make me want to disappear for a while.

Disappearing also allows me time to be alone with my thoughts, which is not always good (doom thought-spiraling is a real thing, I assure you 😅). It is a good thing, however, when there is something I know I really need to focus one-hundred and ten percent of my attention on, uninterrupted Most of the time, writing requires that kind of intense focus for me, especially early in the drafting process or when I’m on a deadline.

Of course, I’m sure there are better ways to function and recharge than falling off the face of the earth every few months, but that’s my way. Unfortunately, that’s been my way for a long time now. But I am also very lucky to be surrounded by people who understand; so, when I come back a week later and say “hi, I’m back. Sorry, I just sort of checked out”, the response I get is usually like “no worries; hope you’re feeling better”.

I have learned that sometimes for my own mental health, well-being, and “creative health,” it’s okay to take a hiatus from people. As long as I come back, of course. If I feel drained from socializing, I often feel drained in other areas of my life… including creatively. So, if I disconnect from other people, it gives me a chance to refill my reservoir and to come back feeling more socially engaged and more ready to create.

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